but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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