I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
