gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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