the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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