Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
