i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
