She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
