Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You've changed since you got that strap on
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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