Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
