just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
