I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Randomize
