We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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