So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
