Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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