mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
