we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
