Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
