what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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