Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.