check it out our google latitudes are spooning
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
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It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
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I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again