And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Found your dick twin last night
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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