OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
