whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
