I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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