we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
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I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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