Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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