Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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