If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
