I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
