I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
