he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
