i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Randomize
