It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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