woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
