I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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