i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
