He is such a slut. More and more my type.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
