My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I am midnight drunk by noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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