I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.