Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
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I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
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I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it