is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
