ADVERTISEMENT

• (734): View more from Michigan

  i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.

  Fav 19 9501 1021

  share tweet
  

• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.

  Fav 40 4190 1114

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (631): View more from New York

  I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...

  Fav 27 2005 2628

  share tweet
  

• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER

  Fav 12 983 4649

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (208): View more from Idaho

  you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack

  Fav 28 1199 4644

  share tweet
  

• (289): View more from Ontario

  She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...

  Fav 7 1335 3749

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (219): View more from Indiana

  she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.

  Fav 11 3707 1800

  share tweet
  

• (407): View more from Florida

  I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.

  Fav 4 3455 1369

  share tweet
  

• (707): View more from California

  I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet

  Fav 10 1964 3762

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (760): View more from California

  BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY

  Fav 3 2796 824

  share tweet
  

• (602): View more from Arizona

  I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...

  Fav 3 719 1143

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (563): View more from Iowa

  Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.

  Fav 0 1161 676

  share tweet
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.

  Fav 1 692 501

  share tweet
  

• (850): View more from Florida

  I can't remember dinner

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"

  Fav 1 914 508

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (848): View more from New Jersey

  Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.

  Fav 5 20 56

  share tweet
  

Randomize