Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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