Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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