i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
