Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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