3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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