He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
