We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
