The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
