dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
