my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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