Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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