Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Randomize
