just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize