You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
