Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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