My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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