Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
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I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
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i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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