come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
