I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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