Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Everyone says I win the strip club
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
