Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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