Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
