party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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