Someone shit on the floor
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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