I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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