yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
