all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
