I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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