I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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