normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
People with herpes should wear stickers.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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